My Knight rider script.... Leave feedback

[DevonStyles]

It's a little rough and does have a few holes in it. Feel free to fill the holes in with your own imagination. It's the first one I have ever done. Feel free to leave some feedback.


Knight of the holy Ghost

The foundation receives word that the highly dangerous James Dervelle is up to his old drug smuggling ways. Charles knows that there was only one man ever that got close to putting the Dervelle crime family out of business. Every other agent sent in has been killed. When mike is told of the upcoming assignment, Charles explains that he is gonna need some extra help on this one. Mike is still trying to prove himself and wants to go alone. Charles is seen making the call to Michael Knight. What is unknown to everyone except Charles and Michael is just how personal this case is to Michael Knight. James Dirk was Durants boss and was the man that made the call to kill Stevie in the scent of Roses.

Michael is happy to see his father again but would rather have him stay out of foundation business. We quickly see a somewhat dysfunctional yet competitive father son relationship begin to form. Michael Jr is quite sure that he can handle this mission without the help of his father. Michael jr is mad that his dad was never their for him growing up and wants explanations. His father is not quite ready to give it to him. Michael jr. Feels extremely confident that he can nail the bad guy alone and his father tells him He can’t do this one alone. Michael explains that Dervelle is much to dangerous for him to handle alone. This is the one guy that slipped through Michael’s fingers. Michael Knight wants this guy nailed. It is a personal mission for Michael Knight to see him go down before he has a chance to kill his son.

Michael jr is well aware of his fathers accomplishments and gets very agrivated when people at the foundation constantly praise him. He realizes that he will never be the man his father was. In an attempt to get the respect and accolades he desperately wants he chooses to go after the one man who his father could never take down. James Dervelle. The foundation has had Dervelle on survailence and has just about everthing to nail him in the act before he ships 100 million dollars worth of drugs and illegal weapons from Mexico into the United States.

Michael jr. decides to go alone without foundation approval and without Kitt to bring James Dervelle down. It’s Michaels Mission to prove that he is his own man and don’t need help. When Michael jr. arrives at the compoud he realizes he might have underestimated the enemy and when he attempts to leave he is surrounded by Dervelle’s gang of thugs. After an impressive fight scene Michael jr is finally outmatched and captured.

Once the foundation realizes Michael is missing Michael takes the time to reflect back on his life and the effects of not being their for his son. The foundation soon receives word that Dervelle has Michael Jr. and what they want for Michael’s safe return is his father… Michael Knight. (Dervelle wants revenge on Michael for locking up his son years earlier)

Michael knows he needs help and he asks Charles if he’s ready Charles says no I’ll need some time, but I know someone who is. Michael Knight is introduced to the new Kitt. We also see a somewhat personal conflict between Michael and the KR 3000. Michael makes several references of how he feels the Kitt 2000 is superior to the Kitt 3000. The Kitt 3000 quickly defends himself by showing him how superior he is. They take off on the mission.

Michael reflects his life to Kitt and the mistakes he’s made and they begin to bond, Michael is impressed with all the Kitts features. They arrive at the compound. Michael uses Kitt’s transforming features to get into the compound.

Soon after another impressive fight sequence Michael is captured. We soon see both father and son bonding after a death sentence is certain. They soon make a plan to escape with the help of the Kitt 3000. By this time The original Kitt 2000 is up and ready to roll. Charles tells kitt he needs to go and get Michael so we see Kitt with his original start up sequence and he heads out to save Michael. Michael is still wearing his wrist communicator and gets the word to Michael that he is outside the building. We see a humerous exchange between the two kitt’s. Kitt then devises the plan to distract the guards while the mustang Kitt does his thing and helps both Michaels escape so they can fight the bad guys. After a big fight scene where we see both Michaels back to back kicking the bad guys butts. Then they both jump into the mustang kitt and pull out of the building just before it explodes…

You handle this thing car pretty good son….. Yea it just came natural. Runs in the family says Michael.

Back at Foundation headquarters parking lot
I gotta go son..... (father and son hug) You take care of yourself now… Walks away
Dad---- Do you need a Ride?
No… I got my own wheels

Michael opens door of unknown car, (shot from the window up) “if you need me you know how to find me” camera moves to front of car then you see the red scanner start moving….(original theme music kicks in) “were finished here buddy…. Let’s go

[DevonStyles]

I guess nobody likes it... lol

[Rjaniz]

Dude, you only posted it for an hour. Takes time for people to get back to you.

And I do have some feed back:

1) This really isn't a script as it is a general "thought" on an episode. You need to have actual dialogue, flesh out scenes, and even the story. Try taking a look at celtx.com. It's a free script writing software and resource that'll give you some pointers on forming a script.

2) The decisions and motivations of the characters here make no sense, in their current form. Traceur realizes he'll never be the man his father was, so he goes and rampages after the bad guy? If he's already accepted it, why would he try, especially without Ki3T? For glory? If there's no evidence to actually hold him, it's completely stupid to try as it will be fruitless. And since when is Traceur shown as impulsive like this? He's supposed to be a military veteran, specifically someone who deals in Special Operations. Impulsive people are not chosen for those missions as they will get people killed. There needs to be a lot more to this (and I would also suggest in some character development).

3) "Michael uses Kitt’s transforming features to get into the compound." Why? Don't put things in there for the sake of putting them in there. Everything should have a reason of why something leads to the next thing.

4) Why is everyone convinced that Traceur can't get Dervelle on his own?

5) Why is Knight not show the Ki3T out of the gate? Why would he be baggin on the Ki3T without seeing even 20% of it's abilities. Up to this point, he'll only have seen it drive and talk, and probably navigate.

6)What is the "death sentence"? Where is the Ki3T during this? Why do we need to have the Ki2T?

7) Don't write like it's an advertisement for the show "Mike realizes he might have underestimated the enemy's strength". That's not going to help anyone understand what is happening. A script is a skeletal blueprint of how the show is going to progress from the first second to the last.

Ultimately, write the script like you're going to hand it off to a director who is going to take care of the visuals.

[PunkMaister]

Whoa dude talk about impatience! Give people time to read before you jump the gun to say "Nobody likes it!" Man and I thought I was Mr Negative but obviously you win the title by far and wide, anyway the script needs work as you would need to set up the scene, dialogue etc for a script as opposed to a fanfic whicb is the format you have presented this with but it could certainly work.

[DevonStyles]

Calm down guys geeez... Actually I posted it last night. I had around 80 views or so and noone commented. That's why I jokingly said nobody liked it. I said it had some holes in it.... It was not so much a script but a collection of ideas.

Yes Mike can handle his business, but when the hoff is re-introduced it allows all of mikes insecurities to come out. Which would allow a whole different aspect of his character to come out. Someone who does not have his father around growing up is bound to have issues. I was thinking that Mike wanted to prove he could take down Dervelle and not need Kitt to help him to Prove to his father that he is as good as he was and he nailed the guy his father could not. I wanted their to be a competitve aspect between them.

The hoff sticks up for his buddy kitt 2000 because that is who is loyalty is with. I put the hoff in the Kitt 3000 so we can bridge the gap so to speak. This would also bring a much more human response from kitt 3000 as he attempts to understand the dysfunctional family relationships between people.

As far as kitt3000 doing things like transforming and all that... He is gonna do it anyway. I was just lookign for cool things to put in there.

The references to the kitt 2000 original start up and all that was simply for the old school fans. The humerous exchanges betweeen the cars would be great as each would somewhat have an ego being the car of the future.

LIke I said their is alot of holes in the story. That's why Isaid feel free to imput into the holes. I am not attempting to be a script writer for nbc. However if givin the chance I know I could make more entertaining episodes then we are getting right now.

[Rjaniz]

Calm down guys geeez... Actually I posted it last night. I had around 80 views or so and noone commented. That's why I jokingly said nobody liked it. I said it had some holes in it.... It was not so much a script but a collection of ideas.

ok, my bad. I missed the am/pm. But if it's not a script, you really should've said as much. It would have cleared up some confusion.

Yes Mike can handle his business, but when the hoff is re-introduced it allows all of mikes insecurities to come out. Which would allow a whole different aspect of his character to come out. Someone who does not have his father around growing up is bound to have issues.

Not really. Like I said, it's out of character. Traceur has been apart of covert operations where impulsive actions can and will get someone killed. They wouldn't be on those missions if they were impulsive.

You're basically just creating arbitrary drama where you could use the time better. Instead of an inferior complex, how about Traceur learning from Knight and suddenly vice versa. Competitive is fine, but it shouldn't make Traceur go insane.

I was thinking that Mike wanted to prove he could take down Dervelle and not need Kitt to help him to Prove to his father that he is as good as he was and he nailed the guy his father could not. I wanted their to be a competitve aspect between them.

It just seems arbitrary. Traceur should have no inferiority issues to someone he's never met. That's like you having inferiority issues to me.

The hoff sticks up for his buddy kitt 2000 because that is who is loyalty is with. I put the hoff in the Kitt 3000 so we can bridge the gap so to speak. This would also bring a much more human response from kitt 3000 as he attempts to understand the dysfunctional family relationships between people.

Let's take this another way: you are introduced to a new person who is much like an old friend of yours, so you insult him? That's what you are doing here. This isn't in Knight's character. When was Knight EVER insulting to anyone, even to criminals he was respectful.

As far as kitt3000 doing things like transforming and all that... He is gonna do it anyway. I was just lookign for cool things to put in there.

Again... putting things in there for the sake of putting them in there isn't a good idea.

The references to the kitt 2000 original start up and all that was simply for the old school fans. The humerous exchanges betweeen the cars would be great as each would somewhat have an ego being the car of the future.

But why is the 2K there?

LIke I said their is alot of holes in the story. That's why Isaid feel free to imput into the holes. I am not attempting to be a script writer for nbc. However if givin the chance I know I could make more entertaining episodes then we are getting right now.

Given what you've presented, I doubt that. You want people to do things out of character for the sake of arbitrary drama, you want to put things in there for the sake of "they look cool", and you want everyone to fill in the story's holes for you.

Basically I can do your entire idea in two sentences:
"Mike and KI3T team up with original Michael Knight and KI2T to take down the murderer of Michael's former love, Stevie. They will have to work together and get past some father/son friction in order to complete the objective."

[KnightINSTINCT]

I hope and pray that the new show does not introduce KI2T in a present day scenario. I'd still like to see him in the new show, but only as flashbacks, forming a story we never seen in TOS. I really don't find any kind of significance to sport up old and new KITTs together on a mission.

Would any intelligence orientated team pare up an old Apple computer to a new one? How many times has anyone on here upgraded just one PC for a period more than 25 years? KITT's been replaced, and obviously the technology is easy to replicate now with (KI3T).

[Rjaniz]

I think they could bring him back without only in flashblacks. For eample, a random idea off the top of my head is Ki3T goes rogue and the only thing that can even stand up to it is the KI2T.

But then it leaves the problem open of what do you do with the 2K after it's all done, back to the storage closet? That's not going to sit well with most, if not all, fans.

[Trendane]

Would any intelligence orientated team pare up an old Apple computer to a new one?

Only in the end of "Terminator 3"............and I never thought I'd make positive mention of that film.

[Shapeshifter]

A script is a blueprint for an episode. They generally run a page per minute of screen time, so a script for an hour is 45-55 pages long.

An outline, or treatment, is about 4 pages long, and describes the episode in great detail. An outline must be signed off on by the studio and the network before a script can be written. All plot points are hit, as is pivitol dialogue.

Your "script" is neither script or outline. It is, as you said, a collection of thoughts. You don't describe action in any meaningful way. "an impressive fight sequence" means nothing. You just have a wish list of things you'd like to see happen, that's about it. I think fanfic is a better label for this.

I'm sorry to be snitty here, but people in general have no idea what goes into writing a script, much less a script that is produceable.

[PunkMaister]

The one thing that I doubt is that FLAGG or Knight industries would have allowed Michael Long (Formerly known as Michael Knight) to keep the old KITT when he retired, it was never his to begin with but FLAGG's He woukd have been allowed to have the Transam to whci the old KITT was modeled after but not KITT itself that would be crazy. Because even as dated as the old KITT is it's A.I is something a lot of third world countries would give an eye an a leg for...