my Knight Rider fan fiction

[CJaguar442]

Here’s one: The Knight of the Sliders

(This is a parallel world to all grown up and other shows. a multiverse)

Tommy is a child prodigy and so are his friends due one of Stu’s inventions as a baby he thought Tommy was mentally impaired and but he was not the doctor that Stu took Tommy to see at the age of 3, was inexperienced and made an error in his diagnosis of ADHD. Stu stuck in this rut pulled out his untested invention from his days as a cybernetic technician for the foundation of law and government (flashback) (he was K.A.R.R.’s mechanic and one of the K.A.R.R.’s 6 creators. because of his involvement in K.A.R.R.’s creation he was not programmed with self preservation but instead programmed with to protect the cause of the innocent, the powerless, the helpless. protocol 2: to follow the laws of humanity. With this programming KARR became not quite human but a success. He was also involved in the creation of KITT who was programmed as was in the series Knight rider. In this world Stu had an older brother named Thomas Pickles (who Tommy is named after) who is 2 years older than Drew and a rich successful billionaire who moonlighted as a F.L.A.G. operative in the 80’s and 90’s and the only reason for Stu’s involvement in the project and K.A.R.R.’s driver) it increased Tommy’s intelligence by 10 fold and his intelligence goes up 3 points a day, his IQ at the age of ten is that of 22 year old. (A person with ability there head cannot explode that theory was disproved about 100 years ago. that is jimmy neutron nonsense. There head would look normal as yours or mine!!!). He used the Brain Enhancement Helmet Device or BAD for short on Chuckie, Dil, Phil, Lil and not Kimi. Kara was against it. In this world Chuckie last name is MacGyver and his dad is the real MacGyver who is Richard Dean Anderson’s doppelganger (in this universe actors sometimes have doppelgangers of people they have played on TV or the silver screen) and Pete Thornton is Chuckie’s god father and does not have glaucoma and is still alive. He looks as young as Richard was doing MacGyver. Originally Chuckie’s great grandfather last was MacGyver he only chose the name of Finster during the first Red scare in the thirties due being accused of being a communist. Then in 1951 McCarthy Era his grandfather Charles MacGyver changed it back due to the same reason but he was a colonel in the US Air Force then and now a 3 star General retired. But the big secret of Chuckie he is long line of Fire Demons. But fire demons are normally good; his family belongs to a group of demons who protect humanity from the forces of darkness this group known as The Knights of the Phoenix. A phoenix has a tattoo on their right arm. This is put on the child at birth. Tommy descends from al line of phoenixes and angels of death. Tommy is a Grim Reaper; he is more powerful than Wyatt from Charmed and a big Knight Rider Fan. In this world there is a secret magical world of mystery. He out grow Reptar along time ago but still likes it but not as much as Knight Rider. He is a true “Knerd”.

[CJaguar442]

this smoewhat incomplete if you have any ideas please share

[T.A.H.O.E.]

You gotta whittle it down a bit &stick to the KR premise...
no tattoos that come to life.

the B.A.D. device....BYE-BYE- unless you only apply it to KITT....other that, it's been done already.

Fire Demons...? No ! cuz,then your heading into Stephen King-Christine territory.

the Mac Gyver aspect....a bit of a stretch.
better off doing a A-Team/KR cross over-sans the comical bits...go a bit darker/more serious on that front.

Other than that & adhd ...Y ou have a good premise to work with.

[CJaguar442]

thanks. it was to be a more of an multiverse a combination of shows (escpecially knight rider) i liked linked together like Who Framed Roger Rabbit? but a darker scifi reality based fanfiction i was trying to make knight rider the basis of it plus like christine i could add that as Chuckie dream car and he is classic car nut. that he creates a formula to brings cars to life like herbie that talk and regenerate like Christine and have supernatural abilties thanks for the idea

[CJaguar442]

i like to merge shows together

[snafu]

Two shows is good. Multiple shows tend to confuse people.

[Scott Kirkessner]

I am sorry, but this giant paragraph was just completely unreadable...

Please try again, make your premise consise, clear, and to the point.

[CJaguar442]

This fan fiction is incomplete share ideas not criticism. This is not NBC.

One it is a paragraph a synopsis I was telling the background of the characters it’s not even a short story (it’s just the beginning) yet I have not gone that far I asked for advice on how to make what I wrote better not what you don’t like

If you really want to criticize go work for NBC. There they really don’t care what you think or feel.

If multiple shows don’t work go rent who framed roger rabbit and go tell Robert Zemeckis that he’s a hack. Hello McFly think it isn’t done

[T.A.H.O.E.]

tho I still find the lovely Kari Whurer rather fetching-hot.....she looks great in almost any-nothing & lab coat...boots,jumpsuit.

yet another potential Dr.Bonnie Barstow Candidate!

[T.A.H.O.E.]

me...? just pointing out new creative avenues to explore

"I'm not a Drama critic...."-J.T.KIRK

[CJaguar442]

i was not sayin that you tahoe i was saying that to Scott Kirkessner

thanks for the christine idea tahoe

scott is too much of critic he has no taste for scifi

sorry for any problem tahoe

[Scott Kirkessner]

CJ, you are new to the fan fiction world of KR, so I will just choose to forgive your naivte...

I've been writing in this community for nearly ten years... I started out terrible, and I have finished strong.

Criticism is the cornerstone of all fan fiction, no matter what genre you write in, be it Star Trek, Knight Rider, Buffy, or Quantum Leap, it's there. What matters the most to all authors is constructive criticism which I have presented here to you.

An understanding of basic grammar would help as well.

If you can't take a little criticism, then you need to exit just as rapidly as you entered. You better be prepared to have others review and evaluate your work.

Not everything is going to be positive, and not everything is perfect. I speak from experience, so before you accuse me of being some cold-hearted critic, understand that I have been a Knight Rider author a hell of a lot longer than you.

Stay away from the kitchen if you can't take the heat. I was pointing out to you that, number 1, the enormous paragraph was very hard to read. I did not get to point number 2 stating that the entire premise seems very convoluted, if not confusing, and I would recommend a more careful and simplistic approach. Take your time in forming what is on your mind, then present it to us.

And if that isn't constructive, ladies and gentlemen, I don't know what is.

-Scott

[EDIT] If you want to be read and respected in this fandom, then DO NOT EVER dictate to your potential fans as to what they can or cannot share about your story. They have the power to decide that, not you.

[CJaguar442]

ok you want to act like a child be child.
I am above this nonsense!!!!

to continue this nonsense would be foolish!!!

as kitt would say goccia guasto

if you dont like it here then step through the stargate begin your journey in to the great beyond someplace else.

what wrote was not constructive criticism they were insults like Simon Cowell. ps yeah I am new to writing fan fiction and I can take I lot of criticism but not when i come home pissed from work.
^^

[Scott Kirkessner]

First off, I think everyone should see what CJ sent to me in a PM just a few hours ago:

***
Ok Simon Cowell, yeah I am new to writing fan fiction and I can take I lot of criticism. I am from Massachusetts and insults from other people are not cool. This is American man.

One this is forum for knight rider fans, not for people who think they right to insult and harass other members because their not up to their class of knowledge or that you think their ideas are stupid. There too many people like you from biking forums who will insult just for owning a huffy and not having a $2000 dollar bike.

Two what wrote was not constructive criticisms they were insults like Simon Cowell.

Three this is a forum not an English paper and read what I posted before it is not even a rough draft. I thought I left people like you in high school I had teachers who would just say will never amount anything, your work is worthless and support the kids who they thought were better and those kids who either flunked MCAS or dropped out of college
***

Next, I think everyone should see what insults from Simon Cowell look like...

“If your lifeguard duties were as good as your singing, a lot of people would be drowning.”

“Why are you having a normal conversation with him? This is a dairy farmer dressed as a woman.”

“If I said to most of the people who auditioned, 'Good job, awesome, well done,' it would have made me actually look and feel ridiculous. It's quite obvious most of the people who turned up for this audition were hopeless.”

“We have hated the French for years. Now you have just joined the club. It makes you much more likable.”

"I met someone the other night who's 28 years old, and he hasn't worked a day since he left college because he's pursuing a dream he'll never, ever realize: He thinks he's a great singer. Actually, he's crap. But nobody has said to him, 'Why have you been wasting your time for eight years?'"

“You're useless, I'm bored - yes or no?”

"My advice would be if you want to pursue a career in the music business, don't."

"Did you really believe you could become the American Idol? Well, then, you're deaf."

Here is the sign of a good writer... he does his research. So before you call me Simon Cowell, dear CJ, why not do some research to see what Simon Cowell is really like? You will easilly find that my posts were not insulting, they were polite and constructive and my colleagues will back me up on this matter as well.

Now that I have refuted and debunked your Simon Cowell complex, let's address some other things.

I have been with KRO since 1995, I lurked for three years, and then I jumped into the sticks in 1998, and was among the first to join the new board in 2002. So I do not need you to dictate to me what this forum is about, thank you very much. Not once did I insult you for your grammar, your fiction idea, or anything else. You are not in a place to invite me to leave this forum.

It is very obvious that you are in no way ready to enter the fan fiction foray. If you cannot handle my carefully constructed criticisms that are designed to HELP you, NOT hinder you, then you wont be ready for the cruel people out there who tell beginners...

"This is f**king garbage, I can't believe you put this *?$# on the web! Knight Rider 200 [sic] sucks because of you! Airizona [sic] sucks because you life [sic] there!"

*The above statement was sent to me in January 1999 after I posted my very first fan fiction on the web. It has not been edited with the exception of censoring the F-word and indicating typos.

I kept this email as a reminder that there will always be those who do not like your work. I saved it with another email that was sent a few weeks later.

"Scott - this is a good start, but I must say a few things. First off, it's way too short. The action just begins and ends. Next, where is the real plot? Gangs are taking over - OK? What is the team really going to do about it? Is Shawn a Superwoman who can fix everything? She does in this story. Think about what you want to accomplish here... flesh out the ideas and go from there."

So why, pray-tell, did I keep emails from eight years past? To remind me that no one is ever perfect, we must all start somewhere. And also to compare and contrast the forms of feedback... the top one is the type of feedback that hurts the most, it is mean, insulting, childish.

But that feedback is what we need to ignore and look past. The feedback I supplied to you, my friend, was nothing like that.

The second email is the kind of feedback that authors abhor and crave all the same. It hurts to see someone didn't like our story, but when they presented it in such a careful manner, it helps us all the same because we are able to freely realize what went wrong, and we have someone who is willing to show us how to change it.

So, CJ, if you can't learn the difference of constructive crit, then you really do not fit in among us as a fan-fiction writer.

I submit this extended post for review by the community to show the difference between insults and constructive crit/feedback.

-Scott

[snafu]

CJ, you are new to the fan fiction world of KR, so I will just choose to forgive your naivte...

I've been writing in this community for nearly ten years... I started out terrible, and I have finished strong.

Criticism is the cornerstone of all fan fiction, no matter what genre you write in, be it Star Trek, Knight Rider, Buffy, or Quantum Leap, it's there. What matters the most to all authors is constructive criticism which I have presented here to you.

An understanding of basic grammar would help as well.

If you can't take a little criticism, then you need to exit just as rapidly as you entered. You better be prepared to have others review and evaluate your work.

Not everything is going to be positive, and not everything is perfect. I speak from experience, so before you accuse me of being some cold-hearted critic, understand that I have been a Knight Rider author a hell of a lot longer than you.

Stay away from the kitchen if you can't take the heat. I was pointing out to you that, number 1, the enormous paragraph was very hard to read. I did not get to point number 2 stating that the entire premise seems very convoluted, if not confusing, and I would recommend a more careful and simplistic approach. Take your time in forming what is on your mind, then present it to us.

And if that isn't constructive, ladies and gentlemen, I don't know what is.

-Scott

[EDIT] If you want to be read and respected in this fandom, then DO NOT EVER dictate to your potential fans as to what they can or cannot share about your story. They have the power to decide that, not you.

Yes, exactly. I wanted to say something earlier about the format/grammar (or lack thereof) but didn't because it was late.

CJaguar, I've been published before. And I knew as soon as I sent the manuscript in that I'd have to prepare to take what I got- be it good remarks or bad criticism.

Constructive criticism is what has been said here. Really. This is downright mild.

Inconstructive criticism: (and this is theoretical inconstructive criticism... I'm not directing this at CJaguar)
"OHMIGAD that was a freaking HORRIBLE STORY and you need to step away from the COMPUTER!1!!!!1"

So... there. Might be worthwhile to read the tips and consider what people are thinking.

[CJaguar442]

do you people get it is not a story i never said it was!!!! it is a Synopsis


do you know what a is well here is the merriam-webster definaition for you:

"Etymology: Late Latin, from Greek, literally, comprehensive view, from synopsesthai to be going to see together, from syn- + opsesthai to be going to see -- more at OPTIC
a condensed statement or outline (as of a narrative or treatise) : ABSTRACT"

[CJaguar442]

ok you want to act like a child be a child.
I am above this nonsense!!!!

to continue this nonsense would be foolish!!!

if you dont like it here then step through the stargate begin your journey in to the great beyond someplace else. because your poor atempt to make me leave this forum has failed


^^

[CJaguar442]

ok you want to act like a child be a child.
I am above this nonsense!!!!

to continue this nonsense would be foolish!!!

if you dont like it here then step through the stargate begin your journey in to the great beyond someplace else. because your poor atempt to make me leave this forum has failed


^^

[Michael Pajaro]

Fan fiction is welcome here. Constructive criticism is welcome here. But this level of bickering is not.

Thread locked.