FICATHON ENTRY: "The Nut Behind the Wheel"

[Michael Pajaro]

Info on the ficathon:
http://www.knightrideronline.com/phpbb/ ... php?t=6007

Here's my assigned quote:
Bonnie: Now there's only one thing wrong with this car!
Michael: I know, I know.
Both: The nut behind the wheel.



THE NUT BEHIND THE WHEEL
rated G

Michael pulled into the Semi as he had done countless times before, only this time he wasn't looking forward to the reunion with his FLAG family. He was almost too frightened to step out of KITT, but he knew doing so would only prolong the inevitable. Devon replaced his usual "welcome back" greeting with words of horror: "Dear God... what on earth happened?!"

Devon and Bonnie could do little but stare at the condition of the fourth member of their team. Tattered crepe paper streamers were jammed under KITT's hood, wrapped around the mirrors and tied in haphazard bows to the rear spoiler. Multi-colored flakes of wet confetti covered the roof and windows. Bonnie reluctantly poked a pencil eraser into a blob of white foam blocking part of KITT's scanner. She was almost afraid to ask: "Is this... shaving cream?"

"Don’t be ridiculious… It’s whipped cream." Michael realized too late his answer wasn't any better. "I can explain..."

Devon cut him off. "Explain? Explain... THIS? Even you, Michael, couldn't possibly have a rational explanation for all this."

Michael tried to go on the defensive. "Hey, you send me out undercover in New Orleans and things like this are just gonna happen."

Devon took a moment to try to regain his composure. He failed. "Earthquakes 'just happen'. Tornadoes 'just happen'. But YOU Michael Knight are a natural disaster in a class entirely by yourself!"

Michael kept pleading his case. "I know it looks bad. But really, KITT just needs a little cleaning. There's no major damage here." Bonnie wasn't convinced. "Is that what KITT told you?"

"Actually, he hasn't spoken since last night."

Bonnie became concerned. "KITT, are your speech circuits damaged?"

KITT finally spoke. "My vocal functions are working perfectly, Bonnie. Which is more than I can say for Michael's abilities last night."

“Oh, so first you give me the silent treatment, and then you rat me out? No more covered parking for you.”

Bonnie walked around KITT trying to get a sense of where to begin with the clean-up. She tried to put her anger aside and just get more information about KITT’s status. She turned to Michael, “so you’re saying there’s no damage?”

Michael tried to downplay the situation. “Well, there is a little rattle coming from the dash on the passenger side. And the steering is a bit sluggish.”

“A rattle?” Bonnie went over and opened KITT's passenger door. A pile of popcorn and some plastic margarita glasses fell on the floor of the Semi. Bonnie paused for a moment, then stepped inside. She fidgeted under the dash for a short while, and found the cause of the offending noise. She pulled out a necklace of cheap plastic beads and handed it to Michael. "Could this have been the problem?" she asked sarcastically.

"See that? First problem solved already. You're a genius." Michael tried to lighten the mood a bit. "Say, if I give you these beads, would you- " Bonnie's glare cut him off instantly. Instead, he tried a different tactic. "I'll be happy to clean up the mess, just get me the car vac and some sponges." Devon didn't want to hear it. "Get out.... OUT!"

Michael knew there were times when he had to stand up against Devon. This was not one of them. Instead, he quietly slinked into the front room of the Semi.

As Bonnie started cleaning up KITT, she realized Michael was right about one thing: there wasn't any real damage done. But she wasn't about to let that sooth her fury. With every popcorn kernel she picked up, with every lipstick-smeared cocktail napkin she found, her anger grew more and more.

It was nearly two hours before Michael dared to return to the rear of the Semi. He poked his head through the door and saw KITT's black skin shining as brightly as ever. Gone were the streamers, the confetti, the dabs of whipped cream. Bonnie was working in the driver’s seat. Michael squatted down beside her.

"Bonnie, KITT looks fantastic. I owe you one. I owe you BIG."

Bonnie didn’t bother to look back at him, instead she stayed focused on her work. “I cleaned up YOUR mess, although there may still be a faint scent of Bourbon in the upholstery. KITT will be ready to roll once I fix the steering issue you mentioned.”

Michael was feeling better. “That's great... what's the problem?”

"There's only one thing wrong with this car..." Bonnie reached behind the steering wheel with a screwdriver, popped out a cashew and handed it to Michael. "The nut behind the wheel."

[knightshade]

Oh man, Michael at Mardi Gras. Imagine the trouble he'd get into.

Very well done, and hilarious, Mike. Very worthy of season one. Loved the almost crack about the beads -- perfectly Michael. Loved Bonnie and Devon's horror at the situation -- Devon's comment about him being a force of nature. And the ending was a great groaner.

You should definitely write more fanfic, Mike.

[gumnut]

Oh, man, I love this! Does it come with medical insurance, cos I think I just injured myself falling off my chair with laughter.

The image of Kitt in whipped cream, the streamers, and, oh god, the popcorn

<i> "Actually, he hasn't spoken since last night." </i>

Michael is so in the deep stuff with Kitt

<i>Michael knew there were times when he had to stand up against Devon. This was not one of them. Instead, he quietly slinked into the front room of the Semi. </i>

The image of Michael 'slinking' (oh, the perfect word) off was just brilliant.

Shady's right, you need to write more fic. Lots more Do you hear me? I said more Cos I wanna read it.

Thanks for writing.

Nutty
(new to this board, but you'll get used to me eventually )

[neps]

Wow Mike, you can wirte! Good stuff there. The prequel to this story would be an interesting episode to say the least. But Micael doesn't even care enough for KITT to at least take him for a car wash? Poor Bonnie.

[TurbomanKnight]

"Earthquakes 'just happen'. Tornadoes 'just happen'. But YOU Michael Knight are a natural disaster in a class entirely by yourself!"

LMAO!! Did you make that quote up youself? That was great!! I love the part with the beads. I was dying on that part for awhile.

[Paul]

I agree, absolutely fantastic. You nailed the interplay between the season one characters perfectly.

And I confess, I really didn't see the last line about the (literal) nut behind the wheel coming until I actually read it.

[Sith]

Nice work. As others have said, you nailed the characters spot on. Good job!