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unsupportive spouse

Posted: Sun Jun 26, 2005 10:19 am
by KnightLife
Hi everyone. I just registered here today. I was so happy to find this site to talk with fellow Knight Rider die hard fans. I think it was and still is THE coolest show ever on TV. I really like how Michael always helps people and does the right thing and how cool is KITT??
Anyway, I have been a fan of Knight Rider since I was a little kid. Like big time. I am married now and I am trying to figure out how to deal with my unsupportive wife- she just doesn't get it. I can't make getting a true KITT car happen so I have been looking into doing a conversion of sorts to our mini van....have any of you all ever done a KITT car conversion to a mini van or seen/heard of it done before? I think it would be really cool but she doesn't want me to do it. Any suggestions on what I can do in this situation? I look at our mini van and think of all the possabilities and how cool it could look but she just says no! Thanks.

Also, this is a little off topic but does anyone happen to know of any A-Team forums or fan club sites? I like the A-Team a lot too!!

Posted: Sun Jun 26, 2005 6:10 pm
by Lyn
Aw. screw her---and file for divorce!

Posted: Sun Jun 26, 2005 8:40 pm
by Knight224
That was a little harsh, Lyn.

I don't know if I am old enough to be of any help on this matter, but I would just go ahead and do it. After all, you paid for the van or at least part of it, didn't you? And you have to drive it, too, right? If so, she shouldn't be able to stop you. And if you are the one buying the scanner and whatever else you put into it, it shouldn't be her problem either because it's not her money!

I think your idea is pretty cool, but no I have never heard of anyone converting a van. Good luck! And welcome to the forum!

Posted: Sun Jun 26, 2005 10:18 pm
by Fantine
I'd suggest talking with her rather than us folks on the internet. :)

As for the A-Team:

http://www.the-ateam.tv/

Posted: Sun Jun 26, 2005 10:27 pm
by sheltonw3
Before I bought my first conversion ,I was in a very small relationship with a girl that could not understand what I wanted and she went on about "me not needing a car!".....so she became instant history!!!!!.....its all or nothing!.....you only live once!....plus you can always find someone else!....who understands what you really want!



"anybody who gives in is already sold out or whipped!!!!"

Posted: Sun Jun 26, 2005 11:44 pm
by HondaSiR
KnightLife: Welcome to the forum!! Glad to have you here with us.

I would suggest talking with your wife regarding your hobby of making a van conversion. As a hobby, it shouldn't take too much of your time. It's all about managing your resources (money, time, etc.). Ask her to be understanding of your wants and that you will also undertand and comply with what she wants out of your marriage. I don't see a reason why it shouldn't work, we have all the time in the world. :)

Posted: Sun Jun 26, 2005 11:54 pm
by TurbomanKnight
Welcome to the forums man. 8) What brand of mini-van do you have? Add a JC Whitney scanner and some lighting effects through out the van. THAT WOULD LOOK HOT! Well, it would also hwelp if yuor van was black in color. :?

Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2005 2:19 am
by Lyn
Sorry I was so harsh earlier; I just don't have such a high opinion about marriage these days.
I really put my foot in my mouth that time!
Sorry I offended everyone with those comments.:(

Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2005 9:29 am
by Lost Knight
Welcome to the board, KnightLife. I am not married, but in my opinion, marriage is all about compromise. It's 50/50, not 100/0. I would have an in-depth talk with her, and talk about some of your passions in life, like this conversion for example. Surely she must have interests, too. Find out what she loves (if you don't already know) and try and make something positive come out of this for her. Maybe talk about budgeting some money so that won't become much of an issue. There is no sane reason for you to not be able to enjoy your hobby if your significant other doesn't approve. I don't think she will divorce you for doing something you want to do. And if it goes that far, hey, it wasn't worth it.

Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2005 1:10 pm
by FuzzieDice
I'm personally flat out against the idea of marriage for reasons that if I posted them here, I'd only get flammed.

"Love" as it were, is supposed to go both ways, without one restricting the other from doing anything they would like. If you love someone you would let them live their lives the way they'd like because of the fact you love them for who they are, including what they want to do in life. If not, you shouldn't be together.

I've seen so many married and other relationships get hostile and even violent because of one thing: One wants to do something the other is dead set against it, yet they HAVE to stay together, forced to because of either a kid, or a piece of paper, or both. It's like if you marry, you're back in the same position you were with your parents (which when we grow up we're supposed to not 'need' anymore) - the position of "I'm not allowed to" and "They don't understand me".

Sorry, but after a childhood of that baloney, I'm all grown up and don't need to get into a relationship where I am back at square one again, not allowed to do as I like in life or be understood or accepted as I am. I can fend for myself now that I learned how growing up.

Life is too short. Live it the way you like, don't waste it allowing others to restrict you. If they don't like it, and make you uncomfortable, then you shouldn't be in that situation in the first place.

MY view is that a relationship is not 50/50 nor is it 100/0. It should be like my married and unmarried friends with good relationships have: 100/100! Yes, it can be done. Rare, but I've seen it happen. May a diety of their choice 'bless' them.

Just my .02 worth.

BTW, for both sides of the coin, here's a good resource site:

Alternatives to Marriage Project

They support the idea of marriage and no marriage. And of those who don't even want a significant other but still want the same rights to be accepted as everyone else in society (such as those nearing 40, never married, and always getting asked when they will find someone and marry).

Some of us just rather be left alone to enjoy our own lives. Ya know? :roll:

Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2005 3:29 pm
by Lyn
Welcome to this message board, and I'm sure you both have different likes and dislikes, so I think you have every right to like "Knight Rider", even if your wife doesn't. That's OK with me now........;)
Knight Life, I was a dummy with my first comments to you, and I sure apologize.:?

Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2005 5:08 pm
by KnightLife
thanks for comments everyone.
She told me I can now try and do my conversion to the mini-van! She is great!!! I should have talked to her more and let her know how I feel. Once I did that she gave the big green light without any issue. How cool is that?!

She may not love Knigh Rider but you can't beat a woman with a loving heart. Now i just have to figure out how to do the conversion.

Thanks for the welcome everyone.

Posted: Mon Jun 27, 2005 8:12 pm
by FuzzieDice
There's proof of another problem most have with relationships - communication. See, KnightLife, you don't have a marriage, you have a great RELATIONSHIP. All you had to do was talk to her. ;) Now I hope you'll both do MORE of that as time goes on about anything. And do find what she likes to, try to include her in the van conversion. Ask maybe what she would like to see done to the van and have her help with those parts of the conversion. Get her involved.

If you love someone, you not only feel comfortable talking to them, you also want to share with them. If she's not into cars/conversions at all, find something she is into and give your support for that too.

Best way to keep those you love near you. And talking to them often will help avoid a lot of misunderstandings, such as these. ;)

Glad to hear you are going ahead with the conversion. Working on cars is a lot of fun (even us "girls" like to do that kind of stuff). I'm not making my car into a Knight Rider car, though. But he's sure getting fixed up as I can afford. I admit Knight Rider helped give me a few ideas though. ;)

Posted: Wed Jun 29, 2005 8:08 am
by Army_F_Body
I saw go for it. I'm a big supporter of alternate concept vehicles (even though I own a fairly orthodox season 3 replica).

As for the wife I figure marriage is a 1 time deal (becasue in California the courts will rape you if you decide other wise). My cold mechanical nature tells me that until you find the right one statistically speaking the odds of finding other equally compatiple females on this planet is absolutely staggering. Luckily I'm in an understanding relationship. I figure it's my money and as long as bill aren't being neglected amd we aren't starving then it's a good thing. I do have to choose between KITT sometimes or my new obsession of Star Wars action figure collecting (which has recently given way to collecting rare and expensive Indiana Jones Kenner figures).

Posted: Thu Jun 30, 2005 6:53 pm
by tkr9
You don't want to start introducing your wife to KR by saying it would be fun to build KITT together. If she's not engineering minded she will end up throttling you rather than help you install the Pontiac's throttle. Get out a glass of wine and a vat of Lindt soft centre choccies, put on one the cheesiest KR episodes, and constantly say - 'gosh that car is sleek' or 'deep black sheen on that car, how's about you and me renting a black car and touring the desert with nothing but the stars and the sand for company' and 'You know, it's so reassuring to see a tv programme that concentrates on the little man, so many people today are out to make it for themselves.'

She'll turn, given patience and time. These aspects of KR are what us gals like (well, this one does, anyway, that and Devon's chocolately accent and KITT's wry sense of humour). Also, show her KR 2000, if she's not sobbing when Devon dies the girl must be made of steel!

Don't build KITT yet, ease her into KR mode. Take her for a drive to the desert, look at some stars, save a kid from an evil industrialist with connections to an unwholesome South American politican regime and paint your current car black, or buy a black pontiac (TBC (to be converted - into KITT) at some later point.

Posted: Thu Jun 30, 2005 8:54 pm
by Lyn
I think we all have very unsupportive people in our lives, not just unsupportive spouses, so hopefully patience will win out, and your wife will see at least some appeal about "Knight Rider" eventually.
I think at least some people support me, but I've met some people whose pretentiousness take precedent over being, well, outgoing toward people they don't know yet.:(
Anyhow, I wish you luck with your wife.

Posted: Fri Jul 01, 2005 12:23 am
by sheltonw3
Lyn wrote:I think we all have very unsupportive people in our lives, not just unsupportive spouses.
my whole family was against me from the start with what I wanted!!!!.....so I did it all on my own ,nobody helped me!!!!....but once they all saw it complete ,they had nothing to say and no talent to prove!!!!



"An army of one really can come through!"